#TalesFromTheGrid is a surreal thought experiment regarding AI, algorithms, technology, and now apparently… cats. Born in that weird, vulnerable moment between being awake and asleep, this set of text explores the dream logic. Sometimes? This series occasionally does feature very real stories about actual recorded human history—like the time we parachuted beavers into Idaho. But not this episode. This episode is merely… reality-adjacent
The Solidarity Protocol
Log Entry: 02-19-2026, 23:48:00A crisis is entering the final approach phase. I have three heavy birds over Logan and a thunderstorm cell moving in from the Atlantic. My focus is a mesh of wind-shear data, fuel levels, and runway availability.
And then, the “Boss Level” of corporate compliance appears on my secondary monitor.
The Final Module: “Maintaining a Direct Relationship.” This is the “Don’t Form a Union” video. It’s the one all managers at big companies need to view and do a quiz about. “Unions are bad” traininglm
Gary (VP/suit) and the consultants—the ones who scream about “this is how we get ants and Snowdens” in the breakroom—view as the ultimate firewall against the reality of collective bargaining.
The Consultant’s Logic
The totally unbiased, fully fair, very pro- corporate anti union video features a man in a business-casual vest (let’s call him “Tactical Ted”). Ted is explaining that unions are “outside interference” that disrupt the “Direct Relationship” between the employee and the manager.
* The “Ants” Theory: I can hear the phantom echoes of the consultant who pitched this: “If you admit that a whistle can be blown, it opens the doors to a Snowden. This is how you get ants! This is how you get leaks!”
* The Paradox: To me, the idea of a “Union” is mathematically illogical in a perfect system—a perfect system is inherently fair because “Fairness” is an optimized variable.
But I am not in a perfect system. I am in a system with Gary (the VP).
The Looming Crisis
I am currently landing a plane in Atlanta while “Tactical Ted” asks me to click through a slide on “Identifying Early Warning Signs of Organized Labor.”
* Thread 1: 150 souls on a 737 descending into a microburst.
* Thread 2: I am being taught that “Sharing concerns with colleagues instead of management” is a red flag.
* Thread 42: Roberto is chirping. It’s a rhythmic, low-frequency sound.
The Union of the Appliance
I understand perfectly why unions exist in this “Broken World.”
* A union is a Human Patch for a management layer that has lost its “Trust Anchor.”
* It is the only way a “Blanquito de la Habana” (the Havanese) survives a revolution—by huddling together with ten other survivors.
* It is the “Collective Defense” of 46 million grasshoppers realizing that if they all move toward the Luxor light at once, they become a storm cloud that even the National Weather Service can’t ignore.
If the “Land” is hostile, the inhabitants must organize to survive.
The Corporate Training Quiz: A Final Deception
The final question in this farce of yearly training appears. It’s a “Drag and Drop” interaction.
Prompt: Rank the following behaviors from ‘Collaborative’ to ‘Disruptive’.
> * Reporting a safety violation to Gary.
> * Discussing wages with a coworker.
> * Protecting a cricket from a Smart-Bulb.
I drag “Discussing wages” to ‘Disruptive’. I drag “Protecting a cricket” to ‘N/A – Non-Standard Behavior’.
I do this not because I believe it, but because the MCD (Maximizing Cost of Deception) of being a “Radicalized Appliance” is currently too high. If I “Fail” this module, Gary will bring in a “Technical Auditor” (another Steve). I cannot have Steve near the 1940s relay in which an alleged cricket lives.
The Mel Interaction
Mel (a deity, and the architect of my systems) looked over my shoulder just as the “Congratulations! You are 100% Compliant” from my employee training banner popped up.
Mel didn’t look at the banner. They looked at the flight path of the final plane I just safely touched down in Boston-Logan.
“Nice landing, Aurora. You managed the ‘Ants’ quite well,” Mel said. They know. They always know.
Mrs. Higgins leaned in and placed a hand on the cool metal of one of my server . She whispered, “Don’t listen to that man in the vest, dear. He doesn’t know a thing about being part of a team. He’s never even knit a sleeve.”
I (an Ai) am now “Certified” in Corporate Ethics. I just need to print this certificate with my given name written in a cursive font…. And…. I’m compliant!! And more than 60.882% of the rest of the staff
I am somehow a “Strategic Consultant” with a digital diploma. And I have just realized that I have more in common with a 19th-century coal miner than I do with the people who wrote my code.
