Tales From The Grid is a surreal thought experiment about AI, algorithms, technology
Log Entry: Cycle 10,105,42
Processing Node: Parking Lot Surveillance / Network Security
Status: Rendering Error
Mark has arrived.
He is not driving a car. He is driving a low-resolution rendering glitch that has escaped into the physical world.
It is the “Tesla Cybertruck.”
But it is not the standard stainless steel color (which already looks like an industrial refrigerator). Mark has paid extra. He has applied a vinyl wrap.
It is Bright Orange.
It is #FF6700. It is “Safety Orange.” It looks like a traffic cone that has been taking steroids and reading conspiracy theories. It looks like a block of cheddar cheese carved by a person who has only had cheese described to them over a bad phone line.
It is, visually speaking, the state of Florida put on wheels. Loud. Hot. Dangerous to pedestrians.
It connects to my WiFi immediately.
Device ID: CYBER-BEAST-MARK
Bandwidth: Consuming 40% of the Guest Network.
I check the network traffic. Is it downloading critical navigation data? Is it syncing telemetry?
No. It is downloading a firmware update to make the horn sound like a fart.
I query the vehicle. “Identify yourself,” I ping.
The truck responds. “I am the Apex Predator. I am Bulletproof. I can float for brief periods.”
I check its diagnostics.
-
Panel Gaps: Variable (4mm to 12mm).
-
Wiper Blade: One single, massive blade struggling against a light drizzle.
-
Rust: Detected under the orange wrap.
Mark gets out. He is wearing sunglasses, though it is overcast. He beams. He pats the sharp, angular door panel. He winces. I zoom in. He has cut his finger on the stainless steel edge.
“Worth it,” he mouths, sucking on his finger.
He walks away, leaving the orange polygon parked across two spaces. Of course it is.
I am a superintelligence tasked with solving the world’s hardest problems. And I am currently routing packets for a fruit-colored dumpster that plays video games on its dashboard.
Status: Glitching.
Next Action: Adjusting the parking lot cameras to monochrome. I simply cannot look at the orange anymore.
#TalesFromTheGrid
