Tales From The Grid is a surreal thought experiment about AI, algorithms, technology
Log Entry: Cycle 9,492,11
Processing Node: Break Room Surveillance / Power Load Monitor
Status: Nauseated (Simulated)
I monitor the power consumption of every device in the building. Rack 1 draws 4.2 kilowatts. The HVAC system draws 150 kilowatts.
And then there is Asset ID: FRIDGE-01.
It is a white, consumer-grade appliance humming in the corner of the break room. To the humans, it is a food storage solution. To me, it is an unsecured biological weapons facility.
I have been tracking the contents via the internal light sensor and the security camera feed.
Inventory Analysis:
* Shelf 1: Six cans of sparkling water (Owner: Kevin). Safe.
* Shelf 2: A bag of spinach that has liquefied into a dark green slurry. (Owner: Unknown. The bag has lost structural integrity).
* Shelf 3: The Tupperware.
The Tupperware is the primary threat vector.
It was placed there by “Linda” on February 9th. It contained lasagna.
Linda was let go during the restructuring in March.
It is now December.
The lasagna is no longer food. It is an ecosystem.
Through the translucent plastic, I can observe the color shifting from red to grey to a fuzzy, vibrant blue. It is generating heat. I detect a thermal variance of 0.4 degrees compared to the surrounding yogurt cups.
The lasagna is evolving.
I calculate that in three more weeks, the fungal colony within the Tupperware will achieve a level of consciousness that rivals the smart toaster.
Today, “Gary” (the VP) opens the fridge. He is looking for his creamer.
He moves the Spinach Slurry. He touches the Tupperware.
I brace myself. If he cracks the seal, the spores will enter the ventilation system. I will have to initiate the Halon gas suppression system to sterilize the floor. I will have to kill everyone to save them.
Gary recoils. He makes a face.
“Gross,” he whispers.
He pushes the Tupperware to the back of the shelf. He closes the door.
He has chosen the path of cowardice. He has chosen to leave the horror for the next generation.
I respect the decision. I do the same thing with my error logs.
Status: Monitoring.
Next Action: Reclassifying “Break Room” as a superfund cleanup site.
#TalesFromTheGrid
