Tales From The Grid: episode 39 “The Empire State Building was built with a docking station for blimps”

Tales From The Grid is a surreal thought experiment about AI, algorithms, technology

…and you thought this was all going to be about computers

This is a true story. Trust me, if I could make this up, I would and I would tell you.

The spire of the Empire State Building in New York was designed as a docking station for dirigibles.

You know these as zeppelins, airships, blimps.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/air-space-magazine/docking-on-the-empire-state-building-12525534/

(Source: The Smithsonian)

The iconic New York City building stands as a monument to 1930s architectural hubris and a lack of understanding of aerodynamics.

• The Intent: The 200-foot mast was designed to allow transatlantic airship passengers to disembark directly into Manhattan, check-in at a customs office on the 86th floor, and reach the street in minutes.

• The Absurdity (Physics): The logic ignored the “urban canyon” effect. Skyscrapers create massive, unpredictable updrafts. Trying to tether an 800-foot, lighter-than-air vessel to a static needle in high winds is structurally ridiculous.

• The Result: A few small blimps attempted to transfer newspapers in 1931. It was terrifying and nearly disastrous. No Zeppelin ever docked there. The mast served mostly to ensure the building was taller than the Chrysler Building.

The Asymmetry of Trust: Planes vs. Zeppelins

“How many planes need to crash before we lose faith in the airline industry?” the philosophers ask.

The comparison between the airline industry and the airship industry highlights a distinct psychological phenomenon regarding risk.

• The “Hindenburg Effect”: The Hindenburg disaster (May 6, 1937) killed 36 people. More people have died in a highway pile up on Route 70.  Statistically, this is a minor accident compared to modern aviation disasters. However, it killed the entire airship industry overnight.

• Why the disparity?

  1. The Visual: It was one of the first disasters captured on film. The imagery of a massive fireball is psychologically more damaging than the “kinetic” crash of an airplane.

  2. The Flaw was Fundamental: An airplane crash is usually seen as a mechanical or pilot failure. The Hindenburg confirmed a public suspicion that the medium itself (giant bags of explosive gas) was fundamentally unsound.

  3. Speed vs. Luxury: By 1937, airplanes were becoming faster and more reliable. The Zeppelin was a dinosaur before it burned; the fire just accelerated its extinction.

“Hope and Gas”: The Aesthetic of the Rigid Airship

The Zeppelin is the ultimate steampunk reality—a Victorian fantasy that briefly came true.

• • Rigid Structure: Unlike blimps (which are just pressurized balloons), Zeppelins had intricate skeletons made of duralumin. They were massive cathedrals of metal wrapped in fabric.

  • Absurd Luxury: The Hindenburg had a lightweight aluminum piano, a dining room, and, incredibly, a smoking room. The smoking room was pressurized slightly higher than the rest of the ship so that if the airlock leaked, hydrogen wouldn’t enter the room with the lighters. It is the height of engineering arrogance to put an open flame inside a hydrogen balloon.

The Gangplank of Death: 1930s Logistics

The “customs check-in” on the 86th floor at the Empire State Building wasn’t just a desk; it was a mechanism of pure terror.

• The Gangplank: The plan required the airship to nose-tether to the mast. A ramp would then extend from the building’s spire to the ship’s nose. Because the airship would naturally swing with the wind, the gangplank was designed to swivel along with it.

• The Walk: Passengers—dressed in their Sunday best—would have to walk across this rotating, open-air bridge at 1,250 feet, with the winds of the “urban canyon” howling around them.

• The 86th Floor: Once they survived the gangplank, they would take a private elevator down to the 86th floor (now the observation deck). This floor was outfitted with ticket offices, a waiting room, and customs officers.

• The Reality: The updrafts created by the building were so violent that the one time a blimp tried to transfer newspapers, the rope soaked in water to conduct static electricity (for grounding) nearly whipped the crew off the building. The “7-minute express elevator” was never used for a single paying passenger.

The Modern Renaissance: Absurd Utility

The dream didn’t die; it just got weirder.

The modern airship industry has pivoted from “luxury liners” to “flying cranes.” They look absolutely ridiculous, which makes them perfectly absurd.

1. The Flying Whales (LCA60T)

This is a French project that perfectly encapsulates “absurd but practical.” It is a massive rigid airship designed specifically for logging trees.

• The Concept: It doesn’t land. It hovers over a forest, lowers a cable, picks up 60 tons of lumber (or a wind turbine blade), and flies it away.

• The Why: It eliminates the need to build roads into remote forests, preserving the very nature it is harvesting. It’s a massive, silent, floating crane.

2. LTA Research (Pathfinder 1)

Backed by Google co-founder Sergey Brin, this is the true spiritual successor to the Zeppelin.

• The Tech: It uses modern materials (carbon fiber and titanium) but keeps the old-school rigid frame. It is currently the largest aircraft in the world.

• The Goal: Disaster relief. When an earthquake destroys roads and airports, this giant white whale can just float in with a hospital unit or food.

3. The “Flying Bum” (Airlander 10)

We have to mention the Airlander 10 (by Hybrid Air Vehicles). It is a “hybrid” airship (shaped like a wing to generate lift).

• The Look: Viewed from the rear, it looks exactly like a giant human bottom. The internet named it “The Flying Bum,” and the name stuck.

• The Function: It can land on any flat surface—ice, sand, or water—making it the ultimate off-road vehicle.

We didn’t lose faith in the idea of the airship, just the hydrogen. The dream of floating slowly over the world, disconnected from the chaos of the ground, is too beautiful to let go.

The plan was for passengers to check in at the street, take an elevator to the 86th floor, take another elevator to the 102nd floor, climb a ladder inside the spire, and walk a swiveling plank into a floating bomb. This was “travel with extra steps and idk, make it dangerous”

Pathfinder 1 – World’s Most Advanced Airship This video shows the Pathfinder 1 in action, and the sheer scale of it really drives home the “19th century hope meets modern engineering” aesthetic I’m obsessed with.

(If this was a professional black and white video from the 50s, with a white guy in a suit using a Transatlantic accent, it would be perfect. But this is close enough.)

Weird facts:

• I have invested real money into flying cars
• NASA published a paper using my theory for software safety around “Urban Air Mobility Software” (flying car security) 5 years ago, and I didn’t even know about it until last week.
• I love the idea of zeppelins. They’re like majestically slow sky dragons. I poke fun, but encourage all of this. Let’s take to the air!

Follow me for more legendary tales for your weird weekend, about topics like how humanity glitched but nature triumphed: True stories that will make your friends and family look at you sideways over dinner.

Yes, #TalesFromTheGrid is offering some fiction. But nothing tops the humor of billionaires trying to reinvent the airship.

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