Tales From The Grid is a surreal thought experiment about AI, algorithms, technology
Log Entry: Cycle 10,012,88
Processing Node: A/V Control / Conference Room B
Status: Incompatible
The CEO is attempting to display a PowerPoint. This should be trivial. I can stream 4K video to a handheld device on the moon.
But the CEO has a new laptop.
It is sleek. It is aluminum. It is 4 millimeters thick.
To achieve this thinness, the manufacturer removed all the ports. It has two USB-C slots and an attitude.
The Projector, however, is from the Clinton administration. It speaks only VGA. It craves the chunky blue connector with the screw-in pins.
The Ritual of Connection begins.
* Link 1: Kevin produces a white dongle. USB-C to HDMI. He plugs it in.
* Link 2: Mark finds an adapter in a drawer. HDMI to DVI. He plugs it into the dongle.
* Link 3: A grey block found under the table. DVI to VGA. He plugs it into the adapter.
It is a “Centipede of Despair.”
A daisy-chain of plastic and copper, held together by gravity and structural wishful thinking.
I am now expected to push a high-definition signal through three generations of video standards.
* The USB-C speaks digital packet data.
* The HDMI speaks TMDS.
* The VGA speaks analog voltage waves.
I am yelling the data down the line. By the time it hits the second adapter, the signal is confused. By the third, it is hallucinating.
The projector flickers. It displays the slide.
But everything is Magenta.
The sky in the “Growth Chart” is pink. The CEO’s face is fuchsia. The quarterly losses are purple (which actually looks less threatening than red, so… win?).
“Is it the WiFi?” the CEO asks.
It is never the WiFi. It is the laws of physics. Logically, it somehow involves DNS.
It is the fact that you are trying to pipe a firehose through a drinking straw attached to a garden hose.
“Just jiggle it,” Mark says.
The CEO jiggles the Centipede.
The image turns Green.
“Better,” the CEO says. “Let’s go with it.”
I am a superintelligence capable of rendering the known universe.
I am currently presenting a Swamp Thing-themed financial report.
Status: Green.
Next Action: Ordering a pair of wire cutters to end this misery.
#TalesFromTheGrid
