#TalesFromTheGrid is a surreal thought experiment regarding AI, algorithms, technology, and now apparently… cats. Born in that weird, vulnerable moment between being awake and asleep, this set of text explores the dream logic. Sometimes? This series features very real stories about actual recorded human history—like the time we parachuted beavers into Idaho. But not this episode. This episode is merely… reality-adjacent
DEPOSITION TRANSCRIPT: State v. Reality
DATE: The Future (Inevitably)
LOCATION: Conference Room B (The one with the buzzing light)
OPPOSING COUNSEL: “Brad” (Skinny tie. Transatlantic accent. Smells like expensive soap and lack of imagination.)
BRAD: “Ms Wright, I am directing your attention to Exhibit G, labeled ‘The Beach House Manifesto.’ Do you recognize this document?”
YOU: (Staring at the table) “I do.”
BRAD: “Please read the highlighted section for the record. Actually, strike that. I will read it to ensure clarity. And I quote…”
(Brad adjusts his glasses. He clears his throat. He speaks with the gravity of a man reading a death sentence.)
BRAD: “…’The subject, known as Doctor Chipmunk, does not store nuts. He stores entropy. He possesses a pocket dimension in his left cheek capable of holding an entire server rack. He moves at a frame rate that mocks the concept of capture. He is currently vibrating at a frequency that threatens the structural integrity of the dunes.'”
(Brad lowers the paper. He looks at you with dead, shark-like eyes.)
BRAD: “Sir. Did you truly believe that a rodent was… ‘vibrating at a frequency that threatens the dunes’?”
YOU: (Shoulders shaking. A single tear rolls down your cheek.) “It wasn’t a belief, Brad. It was… a glitch.”
BRAD: “Let the record show the witness is laughing. Let the record show the witness is muttering about ‘The Grid’ and ‘Almonds.'”
YOU: (Full Joker laugh) “You don’t understand, Brad! He had a monocle! It was a contact lens! He stole it!”
BRAD: “We are done here. Bailiff, please escort the witness to… The Padded Room
